just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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