My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
