No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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