I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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