i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
