Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
