If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
My vagina just recognized that song.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
