can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
