I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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