Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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