WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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