Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
