I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize