he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
