Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
