i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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