I want to walk on stilts...naked
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
