Do you still have your period?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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