this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
