My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
