so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
