Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
