i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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