You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
