Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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