I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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