sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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