Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
