your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
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