It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
