Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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