So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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