I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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