do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
