hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
