Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
