the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he thought i was a dude.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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