I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
