He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
