I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
