how can u be prego again
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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