she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
