Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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