can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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