you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize