I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
