Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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