What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize