Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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