Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's blow job season.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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