This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Randomize
