I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
