Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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