but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He? As in you personified your dick?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
