so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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