Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
