In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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