living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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