Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
