I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize