At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I cannot find my penis.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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