STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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