Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
