She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
