Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
