The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
