Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
