Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
