the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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