I wannas sexs uuuuu
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize