He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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