He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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