yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
