this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Two words: blizzard sex
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize