last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
