she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
